I had no intention of blogging today, and I can’t even guarantee this will be funny, but I came across a link on Neatorama that just boggled my mind enough to warrant a post. It leads to an article on the Woman’s Day site called “Simple Tricks that Make You Look Smart.”

Emphasis on the “look” of course, because when Woman’s Day says “smart” they just mean “not as retarded” and retarded you kind of have to be to rely on Woman’s Day for the following advice:

Because nothing says IQ to spare like a crayon rendering of your house and the audacity to think that your friends can’t use Google maps or identify your house number (or you standing outside of it waving).

Or you could, you know, just pull really hard? I don’t know what kind of cups Woman’s Day readers own but they must be made out of kryptonite to render a supermom’s pulling powerless. Yes, I know a vacuum is formed, but come on it’s suction between two cups – not an experiment by NASA. Who has time to wait around for two cups to separate anyway? Just drink out of your new awesome double-cup and be done.

Women need to be told that wet things are heavier, which is funny because I thought what women did all day was laundry anyway.

I don’t know, maybe it works. I just put it here because I have no class and I like the way it comes across. Heh.

If you’re brave enough to click over to Woman’s Day you’ll find some more stupid advice (Straws in ketchup? Writing down phone numbers?!) and you’ll eventually realize that most of the items are housecleaning tips because women clearly don’t have the brains to care whether Schrödinger’s cat is dead or not, they just want to know if anyone cleaned his litterbox with that new cleanser they got on sale.

Disclaimer: I don’t hate women; I hate women’s magazines that hate women. I assure you there’s a difference.