Britain and I have a strange relationship. While it has given me nice things like great literature, the English language in general, Harry Potter, David Tennant, and David Bowie, it is also partially responsible for a particularly bumpy part of my life. And yet, regardless of all that, I still love Britain — especially now that I’ve heard what the National Health Service of Britain is recommending.
A National Health Service leaflet is advising school pupils that they have a “right” to an enjoyable sex life and that regular intercourse can be good for their cardiovascular health…
Alongside the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”, it says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”
Britain also recommends that sex be paired with real people -- not statues.
Why the hell didn’t I spend my teen years in the U.K.? Instead I had to deal with the stateside abstinence-only education plan, which — if you haven’t had the pleasure — basically teaches that if you so much as look at somebody in a sexual manner your genitals will shrivel up and fall off — but not before they erupt into a pus-filled abyss that will serve as your passkey into hell.
No, I’m not being dramatic.
And while I realize that this leaflet is directed at British schoolchildren/teens, I see no reason why we can’t all take this advice to heart. The article I found has a link to the original story, which I’m sure backs up the have-lots-of-sex-and-masturbation advice with some sound medical facts and data, but I really don’t care. I just found an article that tells me to have an orgasm a day. I need no further evidence.
Now, if you’ll excuse me…
** Image from Sex is Zero: Season 2
