Lazer Tits

Because at some point, normal breasts were going to get boring.

As if this needs a caption.

In the grand tradition of 21st-century websites taking plain pictures and photoshopping them into mind-numbing awesomess (e.g. Nic Cage as Everyone), along comes Lazer Tits, a site devoted to to making lazers shoot out of breasts and sometimes into onlookers’ eyes.

With very few exceptions, the majority of the pics are blissfully topless (and nippleless) — but all of them are amazing. So rejoice, for 2010 is the year of the lazer and it is good.

Jerkin to Your Merkin

Suprisingly enough, this is NOT a picture of Lady GaGa.

Turn Me On

Say hello to your new little friend, NYC. After some fierce and hard competition, the New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has selected the design for its new condom wrapper. It’s a power button symbol, but it also blatantly looks like… well…

Witty Song Parody: You’re Doing It Wrong

When your motto is the ever-so ignorant “God hates fags” how can you possibly top yourself? By making a music video that simultaneously denounces homosexuals and so-called “whore”dom while integrating imagery from the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center, of course!

Toss in a parody of Lady GaGa’s “Pokerface” and some of the worst video editing in the world, and you have yourself Westboro Baptist Church’s latest no-hit wonder “God Hates Lady GaGa”… proving once again that you don’t need talent to make music, just a bottle of crazy-pills and the right beat.

Extreme Makeover: Hetero Sex Edition

I’ve oft wondered if sex feels slightly different for men and women, but it wasn’t until today that I knew for sure.

In the latest edition of Cosmo, which I don’t read but am exposed to through Jezebel, readers will find that sex with a woman feels like a house to some guys. But not just a house — like a really, fancy house that you didn’t have to pay any money for.

The Problem With Arguing Feminism in Jennifer’s Body

I had no intention of revisiting my rant/review of Jennifer’s Body and its criticisms, mostly because I believe that if you can’t successfully convey your intent/arguments in one article then you shouldn’t bother with a follow-up.

This is not a follow-up.

Girls Are Different — Suck It and Deal

Jennifer’s Body is dead at the box office — or so it seems after this opening weekend. And there are a couple of likely contributing factors: 1. that it opened against a fantastic children’s film, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. that it’s battling against people’s cumulative hate/dislike of one of the stars, Megan Fox, and 3. that a lot of the reviewers just don’t understand the film.

And why don’t they understand the film? Because it’s one of the very few honest-to-goodness feminist films out there — and more so then being feminist, it’s one of the few films that views things from a female lens. Boys are there, and make up the majority of the victims in this body horror film, but they’re not a concern. For once we have a story with female main characters who aren’t obsessing about, fighting over, or bitching about boys every five minutes. Jennifer’s Body is about women and how they relate to each other, the horror moments are there for style and allegory, but at its heart the movie is about two girls whose own toxic friendship is eating them both alive.

WTF Did I Just Watch?

This is possibly the single, most horrifying thing, I’ve seen this week: The Contraception Opera. Not only does it tell the tale of a sperm and egg longing to be united only to be thwarted by contraceptive after contraceptive, the operatic tones have actually made me switch my allegiances and root for their eventual pairing.

And it happens. Boy, does it happen.

*Found via HeartlessDoll

**According to Planned Parenthood, “Coitus Interruptus,” as the opera terms it, is pretty effective if you can do it right. Seriously. But still, better safe than sorry, right?

Strongest Vagina Part II

I officially love this woman and her broken English.

Oh, Tatiata, you flirt!

Screencapped from her site: Intimfitness.com

Britain Wants You to Do “It” For the Queen

Britain and I have a strange relationship. While it has given me nice things like great literature, the English language in general, Harry Potter, David Tennant, and David Bowie, it is also partially responsible for a particularly bumpy part of my life. And yet, regardless of all that, I still love Britain — especially now that I’ve heard what the National Health Service of Britain is recommending.

A National Health Service leaflet is advising school pupils that they have a “right” to an enjoyable sex life and that regular intercourse can be good for their cardiovascular health…

Alongside the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”, it says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”

Britain also recommends that sex be paired with real people -- not statues.